"Attention shoppers. Your Discount store will be closing in ten minutes. Please take your final purchases to the front checkouts, where our cashiers will be happy to serve you. Thank you, and have a Merry Christmas."
I shuddered as I made the announcement over the intercom. My cashiers were at their registers, ready for the impending stampede. These last ten minutes were always their most energetic moments of the year. Once they cleared out their final customers, they could count down their tills and go home for the one day they were all guaranteed off with their families.
Sure enough, I began to hear crashing carts and customers muttering as they approached the front. A few brazen people began asking for price checks, and the intercom interrupted "Frosty the Snowman" at least seven times for customer assistance in toys.
It was the ultimate deadline. Nobody ever seemed to realize that yes, stores closed early on Christmas Eve, and no, they would not be open on Christmas Day. Nor did they get the hint that the holiday was approaching when lights first started popping up in houses in October, and all the local radio stations started to play "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" in early November.
The final customers of the hour were invariably men, shopping for their wives or children. One cashier had told me that one man had asked her what size bra she wore, because his wife appeared to be the same size.
Twenty minutes later, we still had lines. I had made the "Our registers are closing in five minutes" announcement three times already. I thought of my children at home, waiting for Mommy to come read them "Twas the Night Before Christmas" and tried very hard not to let my impatience show when one of my cashiers asked for a price check on something. I hissed at her to make a price up, because at this point, I didn't care.
Forty-five minutes after my first announcement, I let out a sigh of relief. The last customer was paying his cashier, and the other cashiers had their drawers counted for the evening. I began to run my evening report, when a girl from toys grabbed my sleeve and gave it a sharp tug, and pointed.
I turned around with a feeling of dread. There, with a shopping cart filled to the absolute brim, was a steel-haired old lady, stooped over the candy display, reading nutrition labels on a Kit-Kat and comparing it to a Snickers.
"Ma'am," I said gently, "We're closed."
She shook her head at me. "Oh, no, sweetie. You're not closed. See, there's a cashier right there."
My last cashier looked up and blanched. The woman's cart was filled with all sorts of tiny items. There had to be at least 200 things in that cart, and many looked like the sort that had to be wrapped and sacked individually.
"I'm sorry, ma'am," I said, trying hard not to let my frustration show. "We made the announcement almost an hour ago."
"Oh, that," the lady said, with a wave of her hand. "Stores do that all the time to get people moving up front. You made seven announcements saying you were closing in five minutes."
I clenched my teeth. Whoever created the stereotype that little old ladies were sweet never met this one.
"We closed our doors at six," I struggled to say in an even tone.
"If this were a restaurant, would you kick out your customers before they were done eating?" The lady smiled sweetly as she replaced the Snickers and picked up a Hershey's bar and continued her careful analysis of the label.
"No, but-"
"Well, then why are you trying to kick out the people who are still shopping? That's bad business." She waved a hand of dismissal, and out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that my cashier was struggling not to cry.
"Ma'am, we closed at six. It is now almost seven. We have families to get to. I'm going to have to ask that you either check out NOW, or return your cart to the service desk and resume your shopping when we reopen the day after tomorrow."
I began to pull her cart to the cashier, and the lady grabbed it with surprising strength.
"The customer is always right," she grunted at me.
"We. Are. Closed." I grunted back.
"This is poor service," she snapped.
"I don't owe you any service after hours," I retorted.
We were just about to come to blows when the manager came rushing up to see why I hadn't yet brought back my tills to the office. He glanced from me to the lady, and then gasped.
"Mom! What are you still doing here?"













